No doubt about it: 2016 has been a shocker, and frankly we could all do with some Christmas cheer to end this year on a high.
I know, I know: it’s still November (just). But with less that four weeks to go it’s time to sweep those Bah Humbugs to one side, pull on your favourite festive jumper, and get down with your jolly self. And what better way to spread some yuletide joy than by selecting the perfect gifts to show those special people in your life.
So say goodbye to 2016 with these 16 gifts for the geek in your life.
Melting Toht Candle
What better way to get into the festive spirit than with a melting Nazi face? I know right! Raiders of the Lost Ark is a classic film all but guaranteed to be on the box this Christmas, and now you can relive the final moments of Gestapo bad guy Toht as he turns into a screaming blob of grue. Lovely.
£19.99, Firebox, https://www.firebox.com/Melting-Toht-Candle/p6706
2. Little John McClane Christmas Cards
Now you’ve got Toht smouldering away on the mantelpiece, it’s time to write some cards with artwork based on The Greatest Christmas Film Of All Time. No, I don’t mean It’s A Wonderful Life. Or White Christmas. Or Elf. That honour belongs to the incomparable Die Hard. Altogether now – “Welcome to the party pal!”
£8 for a set of 4, Last Exit To Nowehere, https://www.lastexittonowhere.com/catalogue/little-john-mcclane-christmas-cards-4-pack_2958/
Half man? Half cyborg? Er, no, thankfully. However this mug is 100% coolness, even if it’s not made from the bloody remains of Detroit police officer Alex Murphy. Dead of alive, you’ll be drinking some tea. Or perhaps some nice mulled wine.
4. Han Solo Ice Cube Tray
If you prefer your drinks cold, keep them chilled with these icy effigies of Han Solo. Add a few drops of food-colouring (or make cola cubes) for the full carbonite effect. You’ll be chuckling like a festive Jabba with this clinking in your glass.
5. Book Cover Film posters
Love movie posters but looking for something classy, retro and a little off-piste? Those good folk at Laser Moon have got you covered, with a range of fan favourite film titles re-imagined as old-fashioned paperback covers.
£20, Laser Moon, http://www.laser-moon.com/collections/book-covers
6. Sanctuary Saviors Walking Dead T-Shirt
The Walking Dead’s season 7 opener sure made an impression. And now you can too whilst dressed up as old Chipmunk Chops himself with this killer tee and free Negan neck warmer! Just try to resist “carving” up the turkey with Lucille…
£20, Dark Bunny Tees, http://darkbunnytees.com/product/the-walking-dead-saviors-tee/
7. Velociraptor Sign
Christmas is a time to bring people together. But should you wish to keep them away just stick one of these sweet-as signs on your garden fence and watch everyone steer well clear. If Jurassic Park isn’t your thing (and if so, what’s wrong with you?) there are also signs from other films including The Shining, Nightmare on Elm Street and Psycho.
£15.99, Arcane Store, https://arcanestore.com/product/jurassic-park-raptor-containment-movie-metal-signs/
8. Light Side / Dark Side Switch Stickers
“There has been an awakening… The dark side, and the light”. Turns out Supreme Leader Snoke was simply waxing lyrical about these vinyl stickers, which transform your average light switch into a thing of nerd-based beauty. Useful if you need to force yourself awake… (sorry).
9. Colonial Marines vs Aliens Toy Soldiers
As toy soldiers are perennial favourites for nippers, upgrade their Toy Story-esque kit with this “squad of ultimate badasses” and their xenomorph foe. Sure, the kids might be too young to watch Aliens, but they can still recreate the battle of LV426. Plus when they go to bed it will be your turn. You can mostly play at night. Mostly.
10. Jason Voorhees Plush
80’s slasher icon Jason Voorhees is actually severely misunderstood. He’s soft, cuddly and only wants a hug. Just don’t take him camping with you.
11. Hello to Jason Isaacs Tee
For all devotees of Kermode and Mayo’s flagship film programme, this tee will keep you in a perpetual state of readiness to say hello to Jason, and will no doubt raise a cheerful “Whassup” from other Wittertainees you pass by in the street. Also it will look good when you’re on next years cruise.
£14.93, Redbubble, http://www.redbubble.com/people/thejackanape/works/9212660-hello-to-jason-isaacs?body_color=white&p=t-shirt&print_location=front&size=medium&style=mens&utm_source=google&utm_medium=google_products&utm_campaign=shopping&country_code=GB&gclid=COTJwYGk0dACFUmeGwodEGIBmw
12. Batman Wall Art
The Bat symbol. With your name inside it. Every now and again an idea comes along which is so simple, yet contains so much win, it’s the equivalent of mic drop in front of a stunned crowd. Boom baby.
£13.16, Etsy, https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/227058090/personalized-batman-wall-decal?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=batman%20wall%20decal&ref=sc_gallery_2&plkey=6cd4d692d969e4728ceb183736bdefae70e45289:227058090
13. Cinema Paradiso Gift Subscription
For all the (excellent) streaming services available out there, sometimes you just need to rent a proper DVD. And with an excellent catalogue ranging from new releases to classics and world cinema (Tarkovsky! Murnau! Kieślowski!) this is a gift that keeps giving for 2, 3, 6 or 12 months. A cinephile’s dream.
Packages start from £14 per month, Cinema Paradiso, http://www.cinemaparadiso.co.uk/gift/BuyGift.aspx
14. POP! and a top subscription
My Geek Box run a number of subscription boxes, including this POP! and a top package. With a mystery geek tee and POP! vinyl figure once a month, it’s like having regular presents all year round. Or alternatively if you don’t want to subscribe, MGB also have a good range of POP! figures you can order individually to grow your collection.
Packages start from £13.49 per month, My Geek Box, http://www.mygeekbox.co.uk/merch-memorabilia/pop-and-a-top-subscription/11231534.html
15. Michonne’s Katana
Perfect for beheading rogue Walkers, or dicing brussel sprouts, this replica of Michonne’s katana might be made of plastic but still looks cool as flip. Proof positive you can survive the zombie apocalypse and look fabulous whilst doing so.
16. Deadpool Laplander hat
Another “hero” who’s fond of Japanese swords is Deadpool, and with this hat / mask you can stay snug as the proverbial bug whilst looking like the Merc with a Mouth. Great for keeping toasty and making fourth-wall-breaking-asides on winter walks.
…there you have it folks. There’s nothing left but for me to wish you a Merry Christmas. Here’s hoping you all have a wonderful time full of rest, peace and – perhaps – the odd geeky present.